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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25481035">you were always to be a dagger floating (straight to their heart)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverLiningShadows/pseuds/SilverLiningShadows'>SilverLiningShadows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Torture, they lose the war</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:49:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,615</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25481035</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverLiningShadows/pseuds/SilverLiningShadows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You see,” Ozai smirks, and Zuko wants nothing more than to run and hide. His body suddenly feels cold. “I thought we could have some fun. Bring him in.”</p><p>The doors open once again. Zuko can hear shuffling and grunting behind him. He tried to strain his head to see the new figure, but finds it nearly impossible to move. He manages to look beside him once the figure reaches the center of the room. Zuko cries.</p><p>It’s Sokka.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>152</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Azula’s eyes glint dangerously, and Zuko follows her line of sight. He jumps in front of Katara, senses screaming at him to move the other way.</p><p>The last thing he remembers is the burning agony of his entire body seemingly alight, then blackness.</p><p>...</p><p>When he comes to, Zuko is lying in his chambers in the palace. His body burns, every joint and nerve still behaving erratically from the lightning. Leaning over the edge of the bed to vomit, the full weight of his presence in the room hits him. He realizes three things.</p><p>1. Azula nearly killed him, and he has no idea what happened to Katara.</p><p>2. He’s either here as the Fire Lord or as a traitor.</p><p>3. Either Aang or his father is dead.</p><p>The thought of it is enough to make him sick, and he heaves over the edge of the bed some more. Only once he’s found the strength to lie on his back does the door open. Despite his overwhelming need to see who is entering, he cannot move his body.</p><p>It’s two fire nation guards.</p><p>They roughly grab his arms, dragging him out of bed and then out of the room. His sweat-slicked skin almost causes them to drop him a few times, but their grip remains firm.</p><p><em>Okay</em>, he thinks. <em>They could be bringing me to uncle, or maybe Aang.</em> He knows his hopes are futile, and he swallows down the bile rising from the thought.</p><p>The doors to the throne room are thrown open, and Zuko finally gets a view of his worst nightmare. His father and sister sit in their normal seats, surrounded by rising flames. Azula has donned the Firelord’s headpiece while his father is sporting a newer, more extravagant outfit. He sees the banners surrounding the room: the Phoenix King.</p><p>The doors slam shut behind him, leading to an oppressive silence. Finally his father speaks. “Ah, Zuko,” he sneers. “How lovely of you to join us.” Azula grins manically by his side, obviously enjoying the blatant fear apparent on Zuko’s face.</p><p>Zuko wants to speak out, to scream at his father, but he can’t. Everything he has ever feared seems to have come true. With his father’s presence, he can glean that something happened to Aang, and with Azula’s he must assume the worst about Katara. He starts breathing heavily, taking everything he has not to curl into a ball and start panicking.</p><p>“I suppose I’ll get right to it,” he drawls, obviously not too bothered by Zuko’s crisis. “The avatar is dead. I killed him and assumed control of the Earth Kingdom. The Fire Nation will enjoy its new land and subjects.”</p><p>Zuko opens his mouth, but Azula cuts him off. “And I killed that water tribe bitch. She tried to save you, but she couldn’t take me.”</p><p>Zuko lets out an animalistic wail, eyes shutting to hide his tears. Despite it all, he has to wonder: where is Toph? Suki? Sokka? <em>Sokka</em>. “You have destroyed the balance of the world, father.” He whispers, words running together. His tongue still feels loose like the rest of his body. He’s guessing he wasn’t given much medical treatment after Azula struck him. “You will pay for this.”</p><p>Ozai laughs. “And who will make me pay? The avatar? You? No, we are entering a new era, one where I will reign supreme.”</p><p>Zuko squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block out the room. He feels impossibly hot. Sweat drips down his face and back, but the guards’ grip on his arms tightens. He doesn’t want to be here, he doesn’t want this to be happening. He breathes long and hard before opening his eyes again, clear headed. “So why am I still alive?” he asks.</p><p>“You see,” Ozai smirks, and Zuko wants nothing more than to run and hide. His body suddenly feels cold. “I thought we could have some fun. Bring him in.”</p><p>The doors open once again. Zuko can hear shuffling and grunting behind him. He tries to strain his head to see the new figure, but finds it nearly impossible to move. He manages to look beside him once the figure reaches the center of the room. Zuko cries.</p><p>It’s Sokka.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko tries to bring his arms up to cushion his fall, but he can’t muster the strength. The guards slam the door shut behind him, obviously unimpressed with Zuko’s limited resistance to their shove. He groans, using everything he has to roll onto his side. He begins to dry heave, wishing something would come out, wishing anything would leave him like the pain and the anger. Most of all he wishes he wasn’t feeling so alone.</p><p><br/>But he does wish he was alone. Because he shouldn’t be trapped here. He can’t be here with him, anyone but him. </p><p> </p><p>Sokka’s leaning over him, worry evident on his face. </p><p> </p><p>The man had pulled his gag down to his throat where it now rests. Zuko can see all of the emotions he’s currently feeling reflected in Sokka’s eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Worry, fear, pain, <em>mourning</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Tui and La, Zuko, you look like shit.” he runs his hands to push the tattered remains of Zuko’s shirt apart, trying to take inventory of his condition. Zuko doesn’t have time for that, he just wants answers.</p><p>He licks his lips. “Toph?” He rasps. “Suki?”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka’s eyes water and he looks away to the ground. “I—“ he chokes out a sob. “Toph and I were on one of the airships. She... I couldn’t hold on.” Zuko can feel his face twist in despair. “We lost Suki before that, I don’t know where she is.” Tears stream down his face, but his eyes remain determined. My sister, is she...”</p><p>Zuko slowly lifts his hand, bringing it to cover Sokka’s. He’s shaking and panting from the effort. “I’m sorry,” he croaks. “I couldn’t save her.” Tears stream down his face. Sokka begins to sob, bending his body to curve over Zuko’s. Zuko grips his hand tighter, wishing he could hold the other man. </p><p> </p><p><em>“You need to be shown your place in the family,” Ozai said. “But I am not without mercy. I know you’re...</em> fond<em> of this boy.” Zuko shook, wishing </em>no, not him. Please. </p><p>
  <em>“This water tribe peasant will keep you alive, for now. Since you missed the opportunity of seeing the rest of your little friends die, I won’t rob you of the experience for this last one.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko looks up at the boy shaking above him and prays. <em>Agni, please let it be quick. </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gasping, Zuko shoots up, clutching at his chest to try to stop the panic and pain residing there. He expects to find his tender scar, but his hands instead fall upon a row of freshly applied bandages. He evens out his breathing, calming himself from the dreams that had plagued his sleep. The sheets below him are damp with his sweat. The tattered remains of his shirt have been tossed off of the bed. Someone has been taking care of him. The dreams still swirling in his mind, he looks to his side to confirm their falsehood.</p><p> </p><p><em>Sokka’s still here</em>, he thinks.<em> It wasn’t all true. </em></p><p> </p><p>But of course, enough of it was true. Even now, back in the palace, laying in his old bed, Zuko can feel the imbalance of the world. The avatar, dead. <em>He was so young</em>. So were the rest of his friends, all gone. Except one.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka’s resting on his side, face peaceful in sleep. Zuko knows this will be the only time the other man will find any sense of calm. He can tell the other man had stayed up, making sure he was alright. Zuko has no idea how long, but evidently long enough that he had crashed, hard. He can see dried tear tracks running down Sokka’s face, and his hand is tightly gripped around a roll of bandages even in his unconscious state. Zuko reaches out to the hand, needing confirmation that he has one person left in this world. He lays back down, turning on his side with painful effort. Sokka’s breath ghosts across his face. Zuko lets the pain take him again, wishing it was all just a dream.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>The next time Zuko wakes, Sokka's talking to himself.</p><p> </p><p>"Stupid Katara," his voice quiets when he says her name. "Never taught me how to properly bandage anything." He's unwrapping the bandages from around Zuko's torso, carefully lifting the firebender with tender care.</p><p> </p><p>"Mmm" Zuko replies eloquently. He had always wished Zokka would hold him like this, but never had he imagined it happening in this scenario. Sokka stills at the sound of Zuko stirring, breaking his concentration.</p><p> </p><p>"Thank Tui and La, you're awake." his voice holds its usual cheer, but it's muted by his somber mood. He lowers Zuko back down, only to help him sit up against the headboard.</p><p> </p><p>"What... How long?" His words are still unclear, each running into the next. Sokka understands though, keeping his hand on Zuko's shoulder as he replies.</p><p> </p><p>"You've been out for about a day. I tried to treat you, but they'd only give me this," he holds up a nearly-depleted roll of bandages. "What do you remember?" His grip tightens, grounding Zuko.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko squeezes his eyes shut, trying to find the strength to think through the past few days. He wants to cry, but he can't. He has to stay strong for Sokka. "Everything," he replies. He can see Sokka's shoulders drop in relief. He hadn't wanted to say it out loud. Zuko brings his hand up to Sokka's other shoulder. They've now created a box, the two of them contained in their own little space. "I'm sorry," he chokes, feeling tears sitting in the back of his throat. He can't cry, he can't. Sokka's been so strong.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka weeps, pulling himself into Zuko's chest. Zuko pulls him close, hugging him with everything he has. </p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Sokka finishes unwrapping the gauze, hands shockingly cold against Zuko's feverish skin. "I asked for scissors, but I guess they don't want us to take the easy way out." He sighs. "I'll have to ask for more bandages after this, and they aren't too friendly."</p><p> </p><p>When the last strip of bandages is pulled away, Zuko can finally see it. The wound is ugly, right in the center of his stomach. It's red and angry. <em>Just like my sister,</em> he thinks. At least he still has his sense of humor. He knows it'll scar. He knows he's lucky to be alive. He ghosts his fingers over it, feeling unnatural heat emit from the spot. "I think you were paralyzed for a bit, but you seem to be doing better," Sokka continues.</p><p> </p><p>"Don't worry," Zuko tells him. Sokka's working the clean dressing over the scar. Zuko looks away, clenching his fists. "I'll talk to the guards. You're in here because of me anyways." Sokka's hands still.</p><p> </p><p>"No," he spits, his voice suddenly cold. Zuko whips his head to look at him, feeling like his heart has stopped. "We're in here because your father is a complete asshole who apparently wasn't content enough controlling the world and needs to control the only person who's ever defied him: you." He reaches out to grip Zuko's hand, hard. "That's on him, not you."</p><p> </p><p>Zuko looks to the side again, unable to meet Sokka's eyes. "I'm sorry you're here with me," he whispers. With their bodies so close, Zuko can feel the tension Sokka's holding. He wants to reach out and smooth it away. He wants to make all of Sokka's problems go away, to hurt anyone who ever touched him. But Zuko's <em>weak</em>. He can't even move right now without setting off a world of pain. So he just clenches his eyes shut, feeling his scar pull at the movement.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey," Sokka cups Zuko's chin, bringing his head to face him. His voice is suddenly soft. "I wish neither of us was here, but I'm glad you're not here alone." Zuko opens his eyes and stares into Sokka's. </p><p> </p><p>When they're finally done, Sokka continues wrapping his chest in silence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for the comments y'all, I love reading them! I hope you enjoyed :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko's consciousness is iffy for the next few days, but slowly, he feels his strength returning.</p><p> </p><p>Sure, Sokka has to help him stand, but at least he can sit up on his own. He's sure being stuck in the room of his childhood isn't helping with a speedy recovery, but Zuko's not sure if that's really an issue.</p><p> </p><p>Ozai promised a reckoning when he was well enough, and Zuko certainly isn't holding his breath.</p><p> </p><p>Trapped in a room with Sokka, Zuko's found his days to be somber but strangely intimate. They sleep on the same bed, and often when he wakes, Zuko finds his hands entangled with his friend's, breath hot on his face. Sokka shakes in his sleep, mouth open in a silent plea for his nightmares to end, tears streaming down his face. Zuko gently wakes him each time and holds him close, but there's only so much you can do when your nightmares are reality. </p><p> </p><p>When Sokka emerges from the bathroom, Zuko finds it difficult to tear his eyes away. The other man is built, formed from years of hard training and determination. His muscles become more defined each day with malnutrition, stark against his thinning body. The healing scars from the war litter his torso, and he has a particularly nasty burn on his shoulder Zuko suspects he got getting captured. Taking it all in, Zuko's torn between lust and remorse.</p><p> </p><p><em>No, I can't.</em> He thinks. <em>Sokka needs a friend right now, not a pervert.</em></p><p> </p><p>His argument with himself only gets worse when Sokka declares that Zuko smells like shit, so he also has to take a bath. "Since you can't stand for shit, I guess I'll just have to help a damsel out," he jokes. </p><p> </p><p>Sokka averts his gaze when Zuko undresses, perched on the edge of the tub. He removes his pants, careful of the minor injuries lining his legs. He swings his legs over into the water, arms shaking as he lowers himself in. The water's just above his waist. He's begun unwrapping the bandages when a hand covers his.</p><p> </p><p>"I've got it," Sokka mumbles.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka unwinds the soiled gauze from Zuko's chest. When they're off, Sokka grabs the bar of soap and gingerly begins washing Zuko's back. Zuko shivers when Sokka's hands make contact with his bare skin. He curls his legs up to his chest, leaning forward onto them. When Zuko had imagined Sokka touching him, it hadn't been like this. This was somehow better and worse. When Sokka's hands make their way to his hair, Zuko lets out a moan then immediately slams a hand over his mouth, mortified. </p><p> </p><p>Sokka chuckles, continuing to lather his hair. "It's fine, man, you haven't been clean in awhile. I understand." Zuko's cheeks burn. He's glad his knees are up.</p><p> </p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>Sokka's ministrations seem to be working, and he's eventually able to stand on his own again.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka smirks, hands on his hips. "Looks like the plan guy did it again. How's it feel, Jerkbender?"</p><p> </p><p>Zuko gives a small smile back. "It's manageable, thanks Sokka."</p><p> </p><p>But Zuko knows whatever pain he's feeling is about to multiply.</p><p>...</p><p> </p><p>They're sleeping next time the guards come for him. </p><p> </p><p>The door slams open and Zuko sees Sokka's arm reach for his non-existent boomerang, cursing when he remembers it's not there. He instead leaps at one of the guards who easily swats him to the side. Seeing Sokka stunned on the floor, Zuko's fight or flight instincts battle each other. He tries to fight but the two guards drag him out, slamming the door shut on a screaming Sokka.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey what's up</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry y’all I’m not great at writing dialogue and stuff so I know my punctuation isn’t quite right. Anyways, let me know if you want more!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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